The Big(not so)Easy: New Orleans 70.3 Race Report

The “Big Easy” is a big lie.  Not much easy about it!  Then again, is this stuff ever easy?  Crossing the finish line in the French Quarter in New Orleans sure made it more palatable, though.

My (boy)BFF and my aforementioned “Badass Spotlight,” MikeyG, was born and raised a Rajun’ Cajun, and he played host all weekend in his very cool hometown. We caravanned down on Thursday, and my (not twin) sister, Lauren, flew in on Thursday night to promptly assume her Sherpa Responsibilities.   The poor girl has spent her whole life being bossed around by me, and now she has to answer to my every whiny request (per her Sherpa Contract).  She is gunning for a promotion based on her stellar weekend performance, but more on that later.   (Promotion = Powerbar Pria Bars for good behavior.)

Mike was very disciplined in getting his pre-race warmup completed shortly after we arrived. We call this one “QVC + Insomnia.” There is no power cord or battery power involved in this hamster roller. 

I opted for a swim in Lake Poopytrain, as I fondly referred to it after hearing about its fecal count. I say let’s just call a spade a spade.  Referring to it as “fecal matter” doesn’t make it any more appetizing.  In addition, Lake Ponchartrain has brackish water. Apparently not too many gators, but can be home to bull sharks. (I swear I’m not making this up. Google it!)  I whined about it, but did do the practice swim and survived unscathed and without a parasite (that I know of yet).

Lauren was super excited to come to New Orleans for her first time. I felt a tinge of guilt since she was clearly unaware of her job responsibilities.  You see,  sherpas don’t do a lot of sight-seeing.  I didn’t highlight this clause in the contract right away to her.  I figured that she’d come to that conclusion on her own as I made a quite delectable (yet very far from the French Quarter) seafood pasta dinner at 5pm on Saturday evening.  Not exactly Mardi Gras. My sister is a gambling fool, though.  She is unbelievable-- a total shark. She did manage to escape with Mike on Friday to run the tables at Harrah’s for a bit, and is one of the few people that makes money off of casinos.

This was a big race. Over 3000 athletes and the biggest 70.3 in the world so far.  As I mentioned before, they really rolled out the red carpet to some phenomenal athletes.  It was a strange feeling for me to be a part of that pro wave, but a very cool one.

Race morning was a bit rushed, since everything was so big! The swim was point-to-point, so we had to hustle to make it to the swim start. I had just enough time to get wet and splash around before we were corralled.  Lauren ran to the swim start with a gallon of water in tow, and Chris McCormack asks her if he can have a swig while we were waiting to start. She has no idea who he is, but that didn’t matter.  She couldn’t wipe the smile off her face if she tried. She told him he could backwash in it if he wanted.  I was cracking up!

The swim was longer than 1.2miles . . . but at least calm, and we could wear wetsuits. I was able to draft for the first time in my life. Finally! It motivated me to hang on because I knew I’d be more miserable if I got dropped by myself.  Even though the swim was long, I improved my time to a (smokin’ fast!) 33min… hey, I’m getting there.   I hopped on the bike, Tifosis in my teeth until I got settled.

The bike was rough for the first half and then the roads smoothed out a bit and we rode through the swamps. I was secretly hoping to have to dodge a gator, but it never happened.  I was happy to move up a several spots on the bike, but I didn’t feel as strong as I normally do the entire time.  Everyone complained about the headwinds (including me), but we’ll always find something to complain about!   Bike time was 2:27.

Running out of T2, Lauren told me that I was in 18th place.

Well, I didn’t even think I’d crack the top-20, so I was not upset.  I tried to hold 7min pace but the heat took it’s toll, and my wishful thinking was a bit ambitious at this point in my training.  I did pass a few more women and just tried with all my might to stay steady and not drop off.  I knew if I made it to Mile 12, I’d be running through the French Quarter and would have a ton of spectators cheering me to the finish.  Not to disappoint, it was quite a festive scene when I crossed the line in 4:42 total time, with a 1:35 half marathon.

I didn’t participate in the party too much from the med tent, but I did help myself to two very stiff IV cocktails and six salt packets to stop the cramping. (WILD!)  It is tough to stay ahead of the heat, and it’s just not hot enough yet in “Hotlanta” to really be acclimated.

I finished 14th overall and was thrilled.  This was certainly not a PR, but it was a good starting point for the year, especially with such an exceptionally competitive field.  Natascha Badmann proved that she’s still an incredibly fierce competitor, taking 1st among a start list of champions in their own right.