Wild Rides, Nasty Dives, and Landslides

So far Bianca and I have finished each day saying, “I`d rather do an Ironman than repeat that!”  Given my lack of enthusiasm for the all-day sufferfests, that says a lot.  Now just how tough are these two whack jobs who decided that an all out adventure to Peru would be a great way to spend a vacation? That remains to be seen.   One thing`s for sure: this has been a wild ride so far.  True to Latin America, nothing has gone particularly as planned, but we end up laughing it off in the end.   Let`s start at the beginning.

Our first day of this trek began by driving up to the highest point near Cusco, which I believe was around 13,000 feet.  We were dropped off with mtn bikes and fabulously fashionable bright orange “don`t kill me” vests and told we`d be followed by the sag wagon. Freezing cold but wicked fun.  

The views were sweeping and it was exhilarating.  We soon noticed a traffic jam on the mountain and slowed down.  Loads of Peruvians were camped out on the side of the road with stopped buses and trucks on each side of a massive landslide.  No way out and no way around it.  Some pitched in to move rocks but Bianca and I decided we would be more useful doling out what was rest of our lunches.  So sue me, but rocks kept falling and I wasn`t interested in taking an up close tour off the cliff, courtesy of crushing rocks.  It became comical after a while.  Things were not moving quickly and we had a long time more to ride before sundown.  Our guide was trying to urge our driver to cross what was left of the path, as if the 200 people stranded hadn`t thought of that first.  Ummm, there was a reason nobody was moving!  We campaigned to just keep going,taking our bikes across and leave the sag wagon. We got our packs out of the van and said we had to continue on (hoping our guide would agree and follow us!).  Rebel tourists!

Here we are screwing around at La Fiesta de Landslide. And yeah, I`m wearing a trash bag.  A new sponsor I picked up in Peru. 

I was loving the ride until the smooth road turned into a very rocky, technical road which required some semblance of mountain biking skills (or maybe just some balls)… NEITHER of which I have.  Do people really enjoy the jackhammer ride? Bianca had to remind me that I don`t have skinny tires, and to just let er rip.  I was a total wuss and decided that I HATE  MOUNTAIN BIKING.  Not much choice but to carry on though.  I finally realized that we were running out of daylight and started to bust a move. The climate was changing as we descended into the jungle region.  We were greeted with a most warm welcome by the aforementioned Peruvian bastard mosquitoes.  Ride faster.  Finally the road got smooth and I was smiling again.

We finally arrived into town after dark and were shown to our humble accommodations.  One look and I knew it was going to be an Ambien-induced sleep if there was any to be had.  Keep in mind I spent 2+yrs in the Peace Corps, so I don`t want to catch any sh*t for being a wuss, but this was downright nasty.  Bianca`s image below appropriately sums it up.

But a photo isn`t enough for you to fully appreciate the nastiness.  My neurotic ass immediately looks at the bed (I don`t know why I torture myself) and notice several hairs to perhaps provide some extra cushiony softness to my slumber, as well as a well marked size 10 shoe print on the sheet. Who knows, maybe the previous guest (prisoner) was standing on the bed in an attempt to scrape all the bugs off the ceiling? The possibilities are endless.  The fun continued when we both opened the bathroom door with hesitation to be smacked in the face with the most vomit inducing stench that only happens when you are having some serious travelers diarrhea.  We slammed the door closed so fast, but not before noticing additional hairs pretty much everywhere in the bathroom.  I could go on and on.  It was so bad.  Suffice to say that the past few years of being a triathlete have served me well, as we both refused to use our toilet and instead peed outside like barnyard animals.  Oh, and thank GOD for the Ambien.  Squealing like little piggies, we discussed our options. There weren`t many.  Pills were popped and we slept stiff as a board, trying not to touch anything. 

This internet cafe is closing so I will continue on with the next couple days report tomorrow.  Before you think we have downright lost it, I must say that the rest of the trek has been absolutely SPECTACULAR, and we`ve got vis aids to prove it. We have hiked all day for the last 2 days, over mountains, more landslides, steep terrain, crazy bridges, and through ancient Incan ruins… while all at the same time wondering if someone secretly signed us up for Fat Camp, because they obviously missed the memo regarding our hourly caloric requirements while exercising.  I probably would`ve eaten a CUY at one point today if it was in front of me. 

I know…  Big talker with a full belly.   Anyway, more mañana…